2-Step Process: Should we use our own decisions? or those of others?

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“…I am prone to allowing my altruism and helping nature to screw me over. My life is riddled with examples of “doing things” just to please everyone BUT myself…”

There are many times in life where we tend to have this “gut feeling” or intuition creep in. More often than not, we blow it off as simply nervousness or anxiety. We normally just ignore our own feeling of what’s “right & wrong”, and defer to what somebody else thinks is better for us. In my own personal experience I’ve succumbed to this stupidity far too many times.

What I never stopped to consider throughout life is that maybe… just maybe, my own understanding of the world may in fact, be DEEPER than other people’s (gasp). Oh my, did I just infer that my own decision making could actually serve my life’s purpose better than the decision making of another human being?

I talked with Theresa about this whole situation. To see if she’s been caught up in a similar dilemma before, and to ask for any advice she might have.

So I pretty much cut straight to the point (who likes skirting around the issue anyway?, lol). I asked “Hey Theresa, what do you think about the topic of ‘gut feelings’ or intuition? Do you feel like they have any relevancy in our decision making?” She told me of COURSE they’re relevant. Then followed up questioning, “why wouldn’t they be?”

I began explaining that the majority of people around me always have THE answer for what I should do with nearly any aspect of my life. Regardless of level of expertise or even experience in an area, every single one of these people can prescribe me the ‘right medicine’, and they can damn sure tell me that “my decisions” are completely wrong. Funny thing is, my decisions have research behind them, plus that little intuition feeling. But to be honest, it’s the intuition that creates all this self-consciousness! If it didn’t “feel” like the right decision, we more than likely wouldn’t even bother questioning it at all.

Similar to picking water or juice out the fridge in the morning, you just DO something without making a big deal of it. It’s become such a habit, and is so closely linked to your inner-self, that we just make a decision based on 1) Scientific Evidence (our body releases physiological signals to cue us in on which vitamins & resources we need) and 2) how we’re Feeling at the time.

Theresa nodded in agreement, she said “Yeah, this makes sense. So what is it about other decisions, besides grabbing something to drink, that makes things more difficult?” This is where things start to get tricky. WHY is it that choosing a career vs. choosing the food we eat, is such a mind boggling experience? The foods we eat, our lifestyles and things we put in our bodies definitely effect our quality of life. Don’t think so? Volunteer at your local hospital and ask the patients there whether or not it made a difference. Let’s not be foolish, it IS important (heart disease, lung cancer, liver damage, kidney disease, diabetes… yes, all of these are greatly impacted by our lifestyles!)

Let’s use our formula for decision making really quickly:

1- Apply Research & Scientific Data to the rational argument of your decision
2- Apply How you Feel and any Intuition to the decision

Ok, so the career decisions, the choosing of our partners, the choices of our friends, what schools we attend… these decision all should follow the logical “1) Research & Scientific Data, then 2) How We Feel” formula. How do I personally make my new decisions after years of poor decisions based on random advice? I use this 2-Step Process to decision making. I do so because I am prone to allowing my altruism and helping nature to screw me over. My life is riddled with examples of “doing things” just to please everyone BUT myself. So now I use a process that can help create a healthy balance in my life.

So it appears that the main rational and logical differences between our decisions as people, lies in a combination of our individual Diligence in researching & fact finding, and our individual Intuition & feelings. I discussed with Theresa the possibility that in fact, HER OWN decisions were typically “better” for her than literally any of the advice and criticism offered by others.

She thought about it for a moment, then questioned “Doesn’t that make me arrogant and self-absorbed?” Hmmmm, that is an interesting point to bring up.

If we are more diligent in our research & scientific data process, and yield to our personal feelings & intuition, does THAT conclude we’re being arrogant, self-absorbed, stubborn, and foolish?

What if the other parties offering advice haven’t bothered to consider Research & Data? What if the other parties haven’t bothered to consider your personal feelings and intuition?

We will discuss this more in depth soon, so just hold on to your thoughts… or actually shoot them out in a comment, and we’ll re-visit them later.

What’s YOUR take on all of this?
Let us and the community know how you rate these issues & impact! Give us your Rating “1-10” on how the topic was handled and How STRONGLY you feel about the issue.

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